”All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us.” The Wonder Years
Prospect #5: Sharks, Eels, and Other Mysterious Creatures
The last categories of sea dwellers can be summed up as the catch and release types of fish. Sometimes, as you reel in these fish you shriek and cut the line altogether releasing the slimy catch back into the water without ever needing a second glance. After all, who wants an Eel on their line when they are fishing for Nemo? Other times, you’ll reel them in, hold them in your hands, examine the scales, look over their fins, maybe put them on your stringer for a little bit, but eventually realize they are in NO WAY a keeper. These terrors of the deep are everything a girl does not want or need and often possess countless qualities that should make any fish scurry as fast as they can back to their own tank- lock, padlock, and deadbolt their fishy castle door, and not cross the threshold until the coast is crystal clear. Sharks, Eels, and other mysterious creatures are what make the dating pool a filthy, poisonous, and deadly spot.
Sharks, Eels, and other mysterious creatures are the self- proclaimed womanizers of the deep. They declare they can take home any type of fish in the sea (because they know the right things to say and what to do) and are proud of their conquests. They’re the cheating, lying, stealing kind. They’d attempt to (and sometimes succeed) steal another fish’s girlfriend or knowingly sleep with married women- all the while either not caring of the chaos or confusion left in their aftermath or claiming that it isn’t their problem to repair since clearly the women they chased were willing to cheat. Now, I’m not saying that these women are not a part of the problem (because it takes two to do the Shark Tango) but what self-respecting fish would want to stir up such a messy situation and make muddy, murky waters for another fish? If there are so many fish in the sea- what is the attraction to a fish tank already occupied by two other fish? I simply do not understand nor would I want to attract this type of fish to my aquarium. These overconfident, boastful, arrogant fish are as unappealing as a catfish or bullhead and often are, in fact, scared, insecure creatures.
Similar to this type, are the fish that cheat on their significant others or test the waters when they are already in some sort of relationship. I have known many slimy creatures that have been dating one person but are either secretly or openly pursuing other aquatic life. They are willing to be in (and often push for) open relationships, believe that which they do not know doesn’t hurt them (and the same goes for you too), and believe in doing what feels good at the time despite the possible consequences. They are the types to talk to and flirt with a girl that they know has no connections to (or way of finding out about) their actual lives. They’ll text, call, and hang out with another fish as long as they know they can lead their double lives without being caught. These fish are very sneaky. They often are able to have their fish food and eat it too. Like many other women, I have been deceived by these types of predators. One that comes to mind is an Electric Eel I met at a mutual friend’s party. This fish possessed many of the attractive qualities I would look for in my Nemo. I was immediately attracted to him. He was tall, had nice broad shoulders, was playful and strong, and very attractive. Little did I know, that this fish was not only moving in with his girlfriend in the next few weeks but had a baby on the way. Now, I’m no stupid girl. But, clearly, this slippery, slimy Eel thought that since we only had a few friends in common that I would never find out about this part of his life. Or maybe he just didn’t care. Either way, I did find out. And, let’s just say I was disgusted, not only with him but with myself for being so susceptible by his electrical shock. I know that I am not the only girl to have ever had this type of incident occur but really, guys? Why, especially when your own little swimmers are creating another life, would you want to pursue other fish? Now, I’m not saying all men who have a child (if they are not with their baby momma) should be sitting at home and not dating- but in this case, and many others that I’ve heard of, how can you go home and kiss your wife or girlfriend and baby at night knowing full well what you have just done? Again… I simply do not understand nor would I want to attract this type of fish to my aquarium. No matter how cute they may be.
I could go on and on about Sharks, Eels, and other mysterious creatures but I am sure you all get the point. These are the fish to keep away from. There hundred upon thousands of possible scenarios and explanations for why these manipulative, sickening creatures are the way they are. They lack good parenting. They have no conscience. They aren’t happy in their relationship. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Here are my pearls of wisdom… You had unloving parents? Choose to never be like that for your own children. Your dad cheated on your mom? Realize that this is the type of husband you would not want to be for your future wife and choose not to stray. You don’t have to follow in those footsteps. It’s all your choice. You are unhappy in your relationship? Choose to be single until you know what you want in life instead of cheat on someone who loves and is faithful to you.
If you boil the oyster down, fishies, I bet all you get here are unhappy creatures searching for something that likely does not exist.
Finding Nemo
With all of these diverse types of aquatic life in the sea how is it possible that the dating pool is so seemingly shallow? Or is it, in fact, deep and mysterious and my hesitation to dive right in has made it impossible for me to see the fish that aren’t swimming near the surface? Like I said in my previous post, I am a tester of the waters. Every fish I have dated has emerged from the depths to meet me at the surface and guide me to the depths of our relationship. With some, I’ve swam down about ten feet and then began to feel suffocated- so I turned around and swam back to the surface gasping for air. For one extraordinary Pufferfish, I dove deep, head first, many times, always abandoned in the murky waters. I barely made it to the surface each time without drowning. And now, here I am, dipping my delicate fins back into the dating pool, unsure of what types of fish I may encounter during my swim. I’d like to dive in head first, weed out the unattractive fish and find my Nemo, but I’m scared. Scared of the possibility of being pursued by a meat-eating Barracuda ready to gobble up the fragile catch I am, frightened of being devoured by a Shark or stung by a Jellyfish, and even more so I am terrified of being wounded by another Pufferfish and never fully recovering…
But my search for Nemo continues. Like any girl, I have an idea of the type of fish my Nemo would be (because let’s face it Nemo is different for every girl). For me, Nemo is a loyal, committed, and charming creature. He’s the type of fish who wouldn’t want to wait a week to call after a date. He kisses on the forehead and sends pink roses. He genuinely listens to me and means what he says in reply. He follows through. My Nemo is a family man, who can’t wait to have children and be a father. He’s a provider. He believes in God and that Jesus was sent to die for us. He’s kind. He gets along with my family and enjoys spending time not only with me, but also with them. My Nemo is mine and I am his alone. And better yet, He IS out there. I’m sure right now he is scurrying through his own dating pool darting past Barracudas and entrusting his own dating fears to his Angelfish friends. He is flipping his flippers and filling his gills with fish food and he is searching the seas for me. And when we find each other, we can happily leave the dating pool together- holding fins, deep in fishy love, and buy a nice aquarium together (with a white, or pink picket fence) 
. We can start our fishy fairy tale and live happily ever after.
But until that day comes and we find each other in the murky waters, I know… “there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” And I’ll keep dipping my feet in the dating pool until I’m ready to dive down and find my Nemo or until he finds me.
3 Comments
September 15, 2009 at 12:51 am
A pink picket fence. Love it.
September 20, 2009 at 4:08 pm
[...] HAPPINESS… Found In The Words Of Others The Dating Pool: Deep Or Shallow? *Part 3* [...]
October 23, 2009 at 2:04 pm
[...] remember Karma Guy, don’t you? Well, this post is dedicated to the miraculous being (No question- A Shark, Eel, Or Other Creature) that made me realize so many important things. Not only about myself, but also about the type of [...]