The World Is Your Oyster

*”The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.”*
Denis Watley

Setting goals is so critical to achieving and maintaining a successful life. Though some goals may, at times, seem unattainable, I believe that any ambition can be achieved with a set plan and drive to attain it. Sure, we all have had unrealistic goals and may even go chasing after them for a short while. I once had the dream of becoming a Broadway star belting out those high notes in Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” and one day becoming, as Mary Catherine Gallagher would say, “a SUPERSTAR!” But, in my heart I knew I never possessed enough talent or drive to make this dream a reality. However, I have set, reached, and surpassed many realistic dreams over my twenty-three years on this planet. As a nerdy student, I wanted to get the best grades possible in school. So, for many years I worked meticulously studying at night, asking for assistance from my teachers and peers when I needed it, and doing my schoolwork to the best of my ability. As a high school freshman, I wanted so badly to become a high school cheerleader, so I practiced for weeks before the first try-out attempting to have flawless Herkes and Russians and to perfect each cheer’s rhythm and hand motions. In college, I wanted to become a teacher so I spent four years at an institution mastering teaching pedagogy and preparing myself for the world of education. For each of these short-term goals, I crafted plans and constructed steps, much like the blueprints of a house, on how I would accomplish each goal. However, no strategy could have ever prepared me for the sweaty, giddy hormone-driven gossip factories that are my middle school students! But, I still love them anyway!

As discussed in my previous post, “Giving Thanks”, some people go their entire lives never finding something that they are truly passionate about. They get up each day with a chip on their shoulder, return to jobs they loath, lead lives they hate, and are never truly happy. They never set goals for themselves for fear of failure or because they are unsure as to what their purpose in life really is. They may have desires and hopes in life but never have enough drive or know how to go about making those dreams a reality. These people attend their nine-to-five jobs, do what is expected of them (never more and never less), and usually never pursue anything of great meaning to them. I could imagine leading a life without passion or purpose would be very unrewarding and unfulfilling. I never want to be a person who gets stuck in the day-to-day grind never reaching for something more. There is so much more to life than a steady paycheck and a mundane life full of fruitless routine.

I truly believe that if you want something bad enough and if you work with all of your heart and soul, never giving up, that you can make any distant dream you have an existing reality.

I am a firm believer in the notion that we create our own destiny. No one is going to make your dreams come true but Y-O-U. Too often people go about their daily lives waiting for the right time to make their dreams come true. They believe when they get that promotion at work, or when the kids are in high school, or when they have enough money that then they can start really living the lives they want to lead. These people go on to realize (as much of their life has already passed them by) that there is no perfect time when all the stars will align for them to begin following their real dreams and passions in life. The time is now. Life is too short to wait for a perfect time that will likely never come. Like Matthew McConaughey says, ‘Just Keep Livin’. If you do, I promise your life will feel so much more fulfilling.

I feel so fortunate to have found my true passions in life at such a young age. For as long as I can remember I have always had three life goals (as well as other smaller goals that I set on a more short-term level) and know that once I have these things and have accomplished my life goals that my life will be complete. One is already beginning to come true while the other three feel as far away as the Milky Way (and no, I am not talking about the chocolately-nougaty goodness wrapped inside the brown and green packaging). Though that would be a nice reward. Reach a goal, get chocolate! Dear God, please make mine peanut butter m&ms!

Life Goal 1- Become a Tenured Language Arts Teacher: Since I was seventeen years old (and maybe even earlier as I played teacher as a child during each summer vacation) I knew I wanted to become an English teacher and share my love of literature and learning with children. With the guidance of my main inspiration, my very own high school English teacher Mrs. Tutt, I embarked on the journey of becoming a teacher. I spent four years reading, researching, and studying teacher practices. I spent numerous hours in clinical placements observing and instructing in different classroom settings. I spent nine weeks in a student teaching placement taking the driver’s seat as a full-time teacher. I prepared my own lessons, taught my own classes, graded millions upon billions of assignments (or so it seems) and assimilated into the teaching world. All of this prepared me for my life as a future educator. I loved every minute of student teaching from teaching content, getting to know my students, and even to those dreaded parent phone calls. I knew within the first few weeks, that this was what I was meant to do in life. I have been blessed to be able to make my dream of becoming an educator a reality the past few years. After graduating from Minnesota State University, Mankato in the fall of 2008, I was immediately offered a teaching job at the high school in which I student taught. It was truly a dream come true. I’ve never been happier then the first day I stepped through Hopkins High School’s doors as a licensed educator. I love being a teacher and inspiring, helping, and being a part of my student’s lives. I look forward to going to work everyday, hearing “Hi, Ms. Topp” in the hallways, and teaching my students. I think all of this is so very important. Since we spend a significant amount of our adult lives working to support our needs and wants in life, I think having a job you love and look forward to going to is so essential. I couldn’t imagine going to a job I detest day-in and day-out. I feel so lucky to have found a career that gives me so much joy and fulfillment.

Though I have now found “My Place In This World”, my journey is just beginning. Being a relatively new and young teacher in this economy has already been very difficult. At the end of the last school year, I was let go from my teaching position due to budget cuts. I was devastated. I searched and searched for a new job that never came. I applied to hundreds of school and interviewed for very few positions. I began this school year as a substitute teacher. Thankfully, about two weeks into my substitute positions I was offered a job (or a series of jobs strung together to equal a full time job) back at Hopkins. It felt so good to be back at the school that I loved so much and never wanted to leave. I felt valued and appreciated as I spoke with other educators who recommended me for the positions being offered. I felt worthy. Through this experience I have expanded my first life goal. I began the 2009-2010 school year working with English Language Learners. Initially, the idea freaked me out! All of these children not only speak different languages but some of them know very little to no English… How would I ever reach or teach them? I wasn’t sure I was cut out to work with ELL students but I gave it a try. Any job is better than no job, right? Especially in my dream district! It was a lot easier than I anticipated and I now have found another passion in life. I want to return to school not only for my Master’s Degree but also to get a second licensure in ESL/ELL. I guess my goals associated with my career have and will continue to grow and change as I am exposed to more of the joys of teaching.  Now, after two years of teaching, my first life goal has become three-fold: a-become a tenured Language Arts teacher, b- obtain my ESL/ELL licensure, and c- go back to school to acquire my Master’s Degree in Education. Eventually, I want to get my Doctorate Degree, too, but that goal hasn’t come to the forefront of my mind just yet.

Life Goals 2/3- Become a Wife and Mother: My second and third life goals go hand-in-hand, quite literally through marriage. When I picture my future I have always seen myself as a mother waiting in the kitchen of my cute little house with the pink picket fence waiting for little Susie and Sammy to get home from school. We’d talk about their day as I make dinner waiting for the love of my life to return home from his day at the office. We’d eat dinner together as a family, end the night watching a movie, and live the fairy tale life. Okay, so maybe my dreams are really not that Stepford Wife-ish but you get the picture. I want to be the supportive, caring wife and loving mother. I want a family. Growing up, I always enjoyed babysitting and caring for the younger children in my neighborhood. I remember summer days scraping together money from my piggy bank or the bin of change in my parent’s closet so I could ride my bike up to the convenience store a few blocks from my home to buy kool-aid, mac and cheese, and candy for my sisters and other kids who happened to be at our house that day. Being the oldest child of three girls, I always felt like a second mother to my sisters growing up. I felt responsible for their happiness and well-being. In many ways, even though they are now grown women, I still do. Maybe that is one of the reasons I became a teacher. I like the thought of someone needing or depending on me- even if it is just for a grade, help with homework, or someone to talk to about the latest GLEE or Gossip Girl episode. I can’t wait to be married and have someone to come home to at the end of the day and start a family with. I look forward to the day when I say, “I do” in a beautiful white gown and commit myself to my husband. I know the feminists of the world may gasp at the thought of needing another person to feel fulfilled but I truly believe that through marriage a person becomes absolute. I know that one person is not able to make you fulfilled 100% of the time but through marriage you make a partnership to love and cherish one person for the rest of your life despite your or their shortcomings. What can be more fulfilling than that? Even if your hubby does leave the toilet seat up, watches sports all Sunday afternoon, and works until late evening most nights? I’d trade in singledom for a sports-watching workaholic any day of the week!

I also can’t wait to start a family. I have loved being an older sister (not only to my sisters but also to their friends). There is nothing better than holding a baby in your arms as they sleep, or when a kid looks up and smiles at you, or being told that a child that admires you loves you. I can imagine that these feelings would be even better if they were your own children. I can’t wait to play Barbies with my daughter or go to my son’s sporting events and cuddle up reading a fairy tale or some superhero book at the end of the night. I have the mom gene (no, I won’t be wearing “Mom Jeans” ick!) and I look forward to holding my own miracle in my arms someday. I’m not sure I have met the man I am going to marry yet (and if I have, I certainly don’t know it’s him), but I know God will lead us to each other when the time is right. In all honesty, I think I’ve always been ready for these two life goals and long for them more than the others. I may not be ready for children this year or the next but I know once I find my future husband that these life goals will be a perfect fit just like Cinderella’s glass slipper.

Life Goal 4- Change The World: I just recently realized my fourth, and final, life goal. I want to change the world. I know this seems like a grandiose idea and an utterly impossible notion but I think I can do it. I don’t mean that I am going to be the next Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi, but who knows? All I do know is that I want to leave this world a better place simply by being in it. I don’t think this world, other people, or God owe me (or anyone else for that matter) anything. It is quite the opposite actually. I know some people feel a sense of entitlement or that the world owes them something if they have gone through some sort of hardship or their lives don’t work out the way they had initially planned. But, I don’t feel that way. I’ll be perfectly honest in saying that my life hasn’t always gone according to plan, but then again, whose has? If it were up to me I’d be married with children (no, NOT Al and Peg Bundy Style), a stay at home mom or famous, and would give back to the world as much as I can. I have none of these things- no husband, no child, no celebrity… but, I still have a desire to make this world a better place. After recently facing some major life issues, some that have haunted me since childhood, I began to wonder what I could do with all that life had thrown my way. How can I turn my suffering into something beautiful and possibly healing for someone else? What do I have to offer to the world? And how can I make a difference? I know by being a teacher I am crafting minds and changing hearts but I want to do more… I think the way I want to change the world is through some sort of public speech. I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been having dreams about this very thing. I would love to travel the country or world speaking to children and adults, Christians and non-believers, at schools and at churches about this very thing: YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. I want to speak to others about shifting from a victim mentality to that of a survivor. I want to talk about overcoming adversity and hardships. I want to show people that it is perfectly okay to grieve, feel sorry for yourself, to be hurt and be angry when something horrible happens in your life but that there is so much healing in getting help and forgiving people who have wronged you. I guess, I just feel I have a lot to say. I don’t pretend to think my life or hardships are any more severe or drastic than others, I just think I have a story to tell and my hope is that I can help others by sharing it. So, even though I have no idea how to go about making this fourth goal or dream happen a huge part of my heart is pulling me in the direction of speaking out about such things and changing the world one student, person, youth group, school, or arena at a time.

I’m not the only one who can change the world. You can too… The world is your oyster; don’t be a clam! You can do and achieve anything you set out to do in life, if you just believe in yourself. You have the opportunity to make any dream a reality. So, set goals, plan, and shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars. We all falter but we all have the ability to get back up and succeed. So, as Ryan Shupe sings, “when you dream, dream big… as big as the ocean blue. ‘Cause when you dream it might come true. When you dream, dream big!”