The “I” In Team

*“Individual commitment to a group effort: that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”* Vince Lombardi

From the moment I left my comfy-cozy life with a warm queen sized bed (complete with thread counts that now, I only dream of) and my very own bathroom with plenty of closet, counter, and drawer space and packed nothing but a suitcase full of the necessities for one year and jumped into a van with four complete strangers, I knew I was embarking on an amazing journey that could likely change my life. But I certainly did not foresee the specific ways in which I would change. Back in August, being the oldest person on my team by about four years, I could almost speculate as to what changes each of my teammates would undergo during our year together. Things such as: growing in maturity, learning to put others before yourself, leaving the comforts of home, and dealing with the struggles of living 24 hours a day/7 days a week with complete strangers. At the start of our journey, I thought my teammates had a lot to learn. An 18 year old, two 20 year olds, and one 21 year old had a lot more to learn about life than me, right? After all, I am 25 years old, a teacher of two years, already established in my career, and have had a lot more life experiences than any of them possibly could. Oh, how wrong I was. Little did I know at that time early on in our journey together, that I too, had a lot of growing to do.

I’ll be perfectly honest in saying that one thing that has been a constant struggle for me for much of my life is being a member of a team. That word: team. Yikes. Team can be a rather scary word, at least for me. That word implies trust in someone other than yourself and being willing to compromise. It involves doing what is best for the whole instead of what you want or what is best for you. It includes a lot of listening and patience. It demands that you are flexible, understanding, and willing to give up control. For me, that last one can be rather difficult. I am a natural leader, just like my father, and I sometimes find it difficult to let someone else lead me. It reminds me of when I was a kid and my sisters, our friends, and I would play school. I could never let someone else be the teacher because they wouldn’t know how to make the schedule, copy the math worksheets, or plan the right amount of time for each class while still fitting in lunch and recess. Oh yes, I was serious about my organization and leadership abilities even then.

I am sad to admit that I often have a very hard time trusting in others to follow through. So, I stay up late, put in the extra hours I feel are necessary, and overcompensate for what I expect (that is another tricky word, being saved for another post) will be someone else’s shortcomings. More times that not, as a student I’d opt to work alone so that any grade I did receive was the grade that I earned through my own dedication and hard work. As a teacher, I’d often stay after school into the early (or late) evening to make sure that my students were getting the best teacher that they possibly could. I’d meet with students after school to help with homework, to simply chat or listen to bigger life and family issues, or to plan new and creative lessons that I felt my students deserved. That was even after my colleagues offered up their lesson plans for the same unit. Once again, I depended only on my own talents and preparation to pull me through. I am not saying that self sufficiency is a bad quality to have but sometimes only relying on yourself can cause you to burn out, fail, or never allow yourself to trust another person to do the job they have been called to do.

This year, I found that I have a lot of learning and growth to do in the area of teamwork. In August, not only was I just beginning to learn about the ministry of Youth Encounter and get to know my four teammates but, I was being thrown into a world where teamwork exists all day, every day. I had to learn to rely on four strangers. To trust them. To depend on them to do their designated jobs. To look out for them. To love them. And to work together with them as a team.

Early on in our year, I’d often find myself getting frustrated if something wasn’t completed when I wanted or what I expected or wanted to happen didn’t happen. Then I begin to think of what I would or could have done better or differently.

Let me start by saying, this is NOT the way to work on a team.

In the first few months on the road, I was in a constant internal (and at times, external) struggle with how our team functioned. Why didn’t we know what we were singing before we arrived somewhere? What was the schedule for the week? Was there actually a schedule and if there was why didn’t I know it? Why wasn’t anyone else working like I was during designated work times? How were we supposed to function when no one did their job right? Or cared? Or tried? Or worked as hard at their jobs as I did?

I know, I know, I sound like a total jerk. And I’m not proud of this. But it’s true. For a short while, I truly felt like I was the only one pulling our team together or putting effort into our team’s success. Instead of looking at what my teammates were doing; I focused on what they weren’t doing that I wanted them to. I focused on what I thought they should be doing instead of trusting that they were trained to do their jobs just as I was trained to do my jobs. In having these feelings what I communicated to my team was that they weren’t capable of doing their job. And that I could do it better than them. And that they should do their job how I would do it and not how they had decided/been trained. And this, my friends, is no way to be a team player.

I’ve always heard the phrase, “there is no I in team.” And often in my head, being oh so clever (or so I thought), I’d think to myself, “sure… but if you rearrange some letters there is a me.”

The truth is life is all about this very thing: coexisting with members of the teams that we become an integral part of. Since being born into this world we’ve been a part of various teams from families, to sports, friendship circles, youth groups, and jobs. In life, we constantly rely on others without even thinking and function (or fail to function) as members of a team. Some teams are easier to be a part of than others. Some require little work, while others require constant dedication. My family was my first team and the one team that I find easy to maintain. As a child, I trusted in my parents to raise my sisters and me. Not once did I question their job on our team. I knew what my roles were, my sisters knew their roles, and my parents had their roles. We function together as a team and allowed each other to do their job. We encouraged, trusted, and held each other accountable. We affirmed one another, showed love and grace, and at times, tore each other down. Most of the time, we functioned very well as a team. But other times, we did not. During these difficult times, we often gathered in our family’s three-season porch and all knew a little chat with lots of tears would likely take place But after this discussion, our team would function even better than it had the day before and help us learn and grow from the trust and love we felt for each other. All in all, my family is a very high functioning team. We have trust, love, understanding, and God at the center of our team. We listen to one another with open hearts and show patience and grace when necessary. We are willing to compromise and put the needs of our family above our individual needs. And often, we do this without a second thought because we care so deeply about the success of our team.

My Captive Free team is becoming a close second. Once I stopped being selfish and unwilling to trust in my teammates, I found that I saw all the wonderful ways that our team does and has functioned in wonderful ways since the very beginning of our time together. Once I allowed my teammates to do their jobs without questioning their experience or abilities and see all the wonderful things they brought to our team, I was able to feel that trust grow. I may still struggle some days with giving up full control but I am still a work in progress. I have learned a lot about teamwork and my roles on different teams. I’m learning how essential it is to trust in others and allow them to do the jobs they have been called to do. I’m striving to see the strengths of those around me instead of focusing on all that I wish they would do. I’m trying to keep myself accountable and learn to compromise. I’m doing my best to be a team player. And I’m quickly learning that there really is no I in team (and there is no room for me).